


That Time When Being Human Get You a Date

by wonker8



Category: Avengers Movie-verse
Genre: AU, Being human can be hot, Bucky is not Winter Soldier, I was hungry for burgers, M/M, Sarcastic!Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-20
Updated: 2012-07-20
Packaged: 2017-11-11 23:29:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/484092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonker8/pseuds/wonker8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky may have just woken up from being frozen alive with Steve back in the 1940's, but if there's one thing he knows for sure, it's that 100% human archer is really hot and they should so totally get burgers together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Time When Being Human Get You a Date

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill for [Avengerskink prompt](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/1854.html?thread=36670#t36670): "It's hard enough transitioning to a brand new world without the sexual advances of one extremely capable archer. Bonus points for talking about how they both don't have "powers" but are still kick-ass."
> 
> Basically, an AU with Bucky frozen alive with Steve back in the day.

When Bucky wakes up, it’s to the faces of his best friend Steve and a random black guy with an eyepatch that he’s never seen before. He greets his best friend and then turns to stare at the one-eyed man with a raised brow. The man simply raises his own.

“I am Director Fury of Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division,” the man says finally. “There’s something you need to know, Sargent Barnes. You’ve been asleep for a very long time. Almost 70 years, in fact.”

Bucky nods slowly, because he just woke up and is feeling groggy, and he really don’t feel like listening to a rant from some guy from some government agency and wait… Did that man say… 70 years?

“Please tell me hamburgers didn’t go out of style, because I desperately need one now.”  
*  
“So what you’re saying,” Bucky says as he takes a big bite out of his hamburger. “Is that Steve and I were frozen in the ice for 70 years to make the world a better place but the world now is still in deep shit, despite our sacrifices?”

“Bucky,” Steve warns. He sounds a little mortified that his best friend is speaking down to the man who just defrosted them from ice, but hey, Bucky isn’t a saint. He was a soldier a while back (a really long while apparently, because damn, 70 years?!), but he isn’t sure what he is now. The war is over, so there’s no need for soldiers. Not anymore.

“In short, yes,” Fury says.

 _Damn,_ Bucky thinks. Because if the director of a highly secret government organization can admit that they’re in deep shit, then it must be really bad out there. He takes another bite out of his hamburger and make, “Hm,” noises as if he’s thinking really hard about this (He actually isn’t. But you really can’t blame him; he hasn’t had a burger in 70+ years, including the ones where he was away in Europe, fighting Hydra).

“But don’t worry. I’ve gathered a group of talented heroes to help you save the world.”

Talented heroes? Really? Just because Bucky was a soldier from the 1940s doesn’t mean he’s going to turn into a hero now that it’s… 2010? These kinds of things are more up Steve’s alley. And judging from the starry-eyed look Steve got at the mention, Bucky knows that he’s going to be dragged into this mess. Damned best friends rights.

Maybe this time, he won’t be whisked away on a new adventure to fight crazy assed evil scientists wannabes who’re more into mythology than actual science. Ah, who is he kidding? Knowing his and Steve’s luck, it’s probably going to be something much worse.  
*  
“You’ll love them,” Steve gushes. Apparently having the super soldier serum running in one’s bloodstream allowed one to wake up from being frozen alive faster. Thus, the good ol’ Captain America has already met their future teammates and has had enough time to warm up to them.

Great.

This probably meant that Bucky would be forced to just smile along and pretend to care. Gods, sometimes, he really hates being best friend with Captain America.

Steve opens a door and leads them in. Inside, there are a group of people sitting down around a round table. There are a thousand and one King Arthur jokes Bucky can make, but they all die on his lips at the look Director Fury gives him. Well darn. He just gives him an innocent “Who me?” look.

Then the wonderful Captain America begins the introduction. “You know Director Fury,” he says. Then he points to the right of Fury. “That’s Agent Coulson. He’s the SHIELD liason for Avengers. Uh, that’s what we’ll be called. You know, ‘we’ as in us the heroes.”

“I would like to point out that we’re more of a ‘super’ hero than a normal hero,” says a rude looking guy who has his feet propped up on the table. He has a self-satisfied smirk of a guy who’s had too much to drink, and Bucky thinks that if he could be friends with this guy, he wouldn’t mind getting a bit of that alcohol.

“Stark,” Agent Coulson grouses, his lips curling into a thin barely noticeable line.

“That’s Tony Stark. Codename: Ironman. He’s a genius that built himself a suit of armor to fight crime,” Steve says. His voice is sharp, and there’s a bit of warning in the look he’s giving Stark. But instead of focusing, he then moves on to the beautiful woman who’s sitting between Coulson and Stark. “That’s Natasha Romanoff. Codename: Black Widow. She’s an assassin.”

He then moves to the other side of Stark to a big, giant of a man. ”Thor Odinson. God of Thunder.”

Bucky stops Steve right away. “The _what?!_ ”

Steve just grins at him like a kid in a candy store. “That was my reaction too. But he’s the real god. Isn’t that cool?” Then he points to a shy, geeky looking man next to this ‘god.’ “That’s Doctor Bruce Banner. He turns into the Hulk.”

“The…?”

“Big, green, and angry monster that smashes everything in its path,” Stark supplies.

Everyone gives Stark a dirty look. Then Banner smiles nervously to Bucky and says, “It’s really not that bad. Just don’t make me angry.”

“And that’s Clint Barton. Codename: Hawkeye. He’s an archer,” Steve finishes as he comes to the last man sitting on the table.

There are two empty chairs on the guy’s right side, which tells Bucky that that’s where he and Cap are supposed to sit. Cap choses the seat next to Director Fury. Bucky sits next to Barton, because that seat’s the only one open.

“Everyone, this is Sargent James Bucky Barnes. He’s my best friend and my right hand.” Steve smiles charmingly at everyone like he always does. “Please all get along.”

“Wait,” Bucky says, because he’s not quite sure if he’s gotten this all straight. “So basically, this team is full of really whacky people?”

“I wouldn’t use the term ‘whacky,’ Sargent,” Coulson answers with a bland smile.

“No but seriously,” Bucky says. He points to his best friend. “He’s a Super Soldier.” He points to the guy with bright light in the middle of his chest. “He looks like some sort of a robot.” (Stark grins proudly at that.) He points to Thor. “He’s a God.” He points to Doctor Banner. “He apparently turns into a green monster.” He points to Natasha. “She’s too pretty to be a normal human-”

“Genetically modified to live longer and to kick all of your asses without breaking a nail,” she supplies with a cold smile. “Is that a problem?”

Bucky ignores her to point at the guy next to him. “Then what are you? A mutant?”

“Sorry pal,” Barton answers with an amused grin. “I’m 100% human.”

“Truly?”

Barton opens his arms wide as if to say, ‘What can I say?’

And damn, that’s the hottest thing Bucky has seen since before the war. “What a coincidence, so am I,” Bucky tells the man with a charming smile (Hey, just because Steve uses it a lot, doesn’t mean Bucky didn’t invent the Charming Smile). “Grab burgers with me after this?”

Clint looks slightly taken back for a second. But then the moment passes and he grins like a kid next to his favorite superhero. “Only if you’re paying.”

For once, this group of misfits that Steve dragged Bucky into just might turn out to be worthwhile. Especially if the way Clint ‘innocently’ stretches, showing off his well-toned arms, means anything. Hot damn, if this is what he gets for playing hero and sleeping for 70 plus years, then he’ll do it any other day… After the burger date with Clint, of course.

“And if we’re all done talking, I believe we have an impending alien invasion to prevent…”  



End file.
